Heroes Anonymous

Season 2: Episode 2

Everytime a Taimi sighs, an angel gets its wings!

The Hero HQ section of the police department is a recent addition that came about due to the recent string of events, ending in which a super villain floating headquarters was not only discovered, but destroyed due to Hero efforts. As such, the police decided that Hero presence on the streets needed to be felt more to bolster this new attitude towards heroes, which had generally been lukewarm due to a masochistic powerhouse that shall go unnamed. Thanks to Constructor, the construction worker who is a one man construction team quicker than any normal construction house (currently in suit for being too good at his job), the new HQ is up and already operational. It is there where Hyperia and the two pipsqueak fledgling heroes appear together to make a statement.

She stands in a line of other heroes with Dark Horse and Iron Maiden next to her. Unfortunately with the new headquarters, red tape has begun to appear everywhere, including the writing of reports, which has caused many of the lazier heroes to not bother to register for patrols and duty. However, due to the offering of free health insurance to heroes who join this initiative, quite a few more are in fact taking part.

Iron Maiden adjusts her HID (Hero Identity Disguiser, or the glasses she puts on that makes her face blurry), causing a uniformed police officer nearby to suddenly appear very sick, as the movement of the blurriness is quite unsettling.

Dark Horse: I think I see why Mom made me register as a hero. She probably thinks the paperwork will deter me.

Dark Horse: And the waiting in line.

Iron Maiden: I get to sign “Iron Maiden” everywhere! Paperwork is the best!

Hyperia: Yeah, there’s a lot of it, but there are worse things. At least it doesn’t mess with our taxes.

Iron Maiden: Taxes…oh…I think I forgot to pay them this year.

She pulls out her miniaturized super computer and starts tapping away.

Dark Horse: Taxes? Wonder if I should pay them. I don’t have money of my own. This could get awkward.

Iron Maiden: You don’t receive dividends or a paycheck. Don’t worry.

Iron Maiden: Hey, I only owe sixty thousand this year. Hah. I was worried for a second.

Hyperia winces

They reach the front of the line.

Front Desk: Hi, please swipe your Hero IDs and state your names clearly into the receiver.

Iron Maiden jockies in first, swiping her card. “IRON MAIDEN!” The man at the front desk holds his ears in shock.

Dark Horse swipes her card and says, “Dark Horse.”

Hyperia swipes her card: Hyperia.

Front Desk: Thank you. You received call 428 and 425. Did this end up becoming a combined incident?

Hyperia: Similar villain MOs and physical proximity.

Hyperia: So yes, they did.

Front Desk: Alright, I combined the incident report. Please head to interview room 13 for debriefing.

Iron Maiden: Oooo my first debriefing!

Dark Horse: Yes, sir.

Iron Maiden sloppily salutes.

Dark Horse heads to room 13, wherever that is.

Hyperia leads the way, since she’s the most likely to have been here before

They enter a small room with a table and six chairs. There’s a water machine on there with a paper cup dispenser attached.

Hyperia gets drinks for everyone

Hyperia: We’re going to need these.

Iron Maiden kicks her legs like a child after sitting.

Dark Horse: Thanks. Why will we need water? Does it get hot in here?

Hyperia: Sometimes sipping some water is the only thing to do, and sometimes you just end up talking for so long you need a drink before your throat collapses.

Iron Maiden: Ohhh, so that’s where they’re using the privacy sound dampening tech.

Lizbet points to the glass, where the air seems to distort. They quickly notice they can’t hear anything outside of the room, even if people begin to talk in the hall, which for the sake of this game, means that someone is doing that right now.

Lizbet: The royalties on that funded our battle van!

Dark Horse: Can they hear us out there?

Iron Maiden: Nope.

Hyperia: So it works both ways. Good to know.

Hyperia sips

Iron Maiden: I tried to make a noise proof suit, but it ended up deafening the test subjects for a few weeks.

Dark Horse: They must have been peeved. Those baddies really did a number on my ears with their explodey stuff.

Hyperia: Are you feeling better now?

Dark Horse: I think so. I’m hearing fine, but I was hearing weird stuff, too.

Dark Horse: Didn’t you notice it?

Iron Maiden: Nope. You were the one that heard stuff. All I heard was a big old fat nothing. Those guys were dead silent.

Dark Horse: Weird. I thought your suit would have had some kind of hyper hearing microphone or something. Guess it was just me.

Hyperia: I don’t remember them saying anything either.

Iron Maiden: It does. It amplifies sound a lot. And it also does sonar, but I didn’t have that turned on…drains the batteries too much.

Dark Horse: I didn’t hear them talking. I heard things like their zap guns powering up and something that magic guy was doing.

Dark Horse: I might have understood if I could have seen anything. That light stealing thing of his was nasty.

After a few minutes of waiting, a plainclothes detective enters the room. Everyone but Nani recognizes her as Chief Inspector Denny, aka Detective Knowitall or Sherlock, as she was fondly called by the press during her days as an official advisor to the police department.

Denny: Hello, I am Chief Inspector Denny. Hyperia and I have met, but I believe this is my first time meeting the two of you.

Hyperia: It’s always hard to tell with disguised vigilantes, isn’t it, Inspector?

Dark Horse: Hi. I’m… Hero name, right? Mine’s Dark Horse.

Denny: Not to alarm any of you, but I’m one of three people who can actually access Hero ID information, although I find it unnecessary to read. So hiding your identity is not necessary when dealing with me, though you are free to continue doing so.

She sets a file down on the table and sits opposite of the three heroes.

Dark Horse: Nice to know, Inspector. I’m new to this, so I’m having a little trouble keeping my own identities straight.

Denny: I am aware. I also am on the board that approves Hero ID cards.

She shifts through some papers and pulls one out to read. “So, you both reported to seperate incidents near each other, but ended up finding that the same villain group was responsible.”

Hyperia: Correct. The incidents were similar, but all we found at my call were KOed civilians. I heard something a few blocks away, confirmed that the civilians were out of danger, and moved toward the sound.

Denny: Please describe the sound.

Lizbot: I made it to bring her there!

Iron Maiden: Hey, get outta my notebook!

Dark Horse: We also followed a sound several blocks from our initial call. The sound I followed was like an explosion.

Lizbot: Not me!

Iron Maiden: Grrr.

Iron Maiden: I didn’t hear anything. It must have been too high frequency, because my recordings of the night didn’t pick anything up, and I don’t record in that frequency.

Denny: Alright, so knocked out civies, overturned vehicles and destroyed street lamps were what was described in the call, and that was correct. This actually occurred in ten different places across the city tonight, and is the reason I’m in here now, debriefing you.

Dark Horse: Did the other heroes catch the bad guys yet?

Denny: No one else reported any encounters, and all heroes are accounted for now.

Denny writes a few notes. “Alright, so please describe your encounter with the villains.”

Dark Horse: Iron Maiden and I first ran into four of them. We were in an intersection. Three hostiles had guns, the third had some kind of stick thing.

Dark Horse: I tried to close with one of the gunmen. Before I could get to him, the light went away.

Dark Horse: Not just dark, but no light at all.

Dark Horse: I tried to fight them, but could only work by sound. I didn’t do very well.

Dark Horse: Finally, I heard something that sounded like wood cracking, so I attacked in that direction.

Dark Horse: I hit. I think Miss Hyperia hit the same thing a little later, and the light came back for a while.

Denny scribbles away on her notepad.

Dark Horse: When the light came back, there appeared to be nine hostiles total. The guy with the stick had some kind of freaky wooden armor. His eight friends, I guess they were his friends, were running away.

Dark Horse: Miss Hyperia tried to take the stick away from the old guy in the wooden armor. We’d done a pretty good job on his armor, but she got pushed away.

Dark Horse: Then it was like his stick sucked all the lights away and he was gone when we could see again.

Iron Maiden: I got it all on recording!

She produces a small usb stick and slides it to Denny.

After going over all of this, Dark Horse realizes what Hyperia meant by getting thirsty during debriefing. She tries to take a drink, but realizes she’s got a bandana over her face. Of course she soaks the bandana before realizing this.

Hyperia: I don’t have much to add. I got there and things were already dark. Iron Maiden’s AI told me where to go and when to kick, which is how I got in my hit on the wood guy.

Denny: Thank you very much. I will be in contact with all of you after we process this for more information. In the mean time, why don’t you take a few days off to decompress.

Denny: Keep you nights free, however, in the case of an emergency like tonight. I’ll put you on hold for the next few days, in case you were scheduled to go out.

She stands, pulls a stick of Pockey from her pocket and downs rests it on her lips like a cigarette. “Please contact me if you remember any other details.”

Hyperia: Of course.

Dark Horse: Thank you, Inspector.

After the debrief, barring any other conversations you want to have with the inspector, they leave and go back to Iron Maiden’s battle van.

Hyperia: I swear, she does too many interviews like that.

Iron Maiden: Like what?

Hyperia: Like what we just went through. She has trouble talking normally sometimes. One time we met at a charity function and she had to go up to speak. Instead of “bye” or “see you later” or anything normal, she told me to contact her later if I remembered any details.

Iron Maiden: But why would she need details at a charity function?

Hyperia: That’s my point, lovey. She does so many debriefs and citizen interviews and things that she says that instead of a normal farewell.

Dark Horse: I just thought that was a normal debriefing. I guess talking like that at a party would be different.

Iron Maiden: Oh. She was cool. I could see her picking apart my identity. She totally knows who I am already.

Dark Horse: Yeah. She pretty much told me that she knows who I was. Which means that this whole disguise thing only hid me from… Sorry, Hyperia.

Hyperia: Don’t worry. After ten years of this sort of thing I’m used to it.

Iron Maiden: So, where can I drop you off? No doubt near some cave lair, or an invisible island.

Hyperia: Actually, I parked my car not too far from my call. Could you take me back there?

Having just experience Iron Maiden’s driving the first time, does Hyperia have the stomach to sit through a second go of it for a ride even a couple blocks, or is she not that desperate?

Iron Maiden: Sure!!!

She skips on her way out of the building to the parking lot.

The three pile into her van, which subsequently begins to play death metal again, which was weird the first time, but now is just growing on the two others. Iron Maiden doesn’t seem to notice the music, and talks rather low, and not over it at all. This also means you can’t hear her.

Dark Horse shouts to Hyperia: Hey, did you say Lizbot’s in your phone? Have her save my number to it! Call me if you want any help!

Iron Maiden (to herself, though no one can hear): Why does everyone yell in my van? So weird.

Hyperia: I’m not sure I know how to do that.

They part after Iron Maiden flips her van next to Hyperia’s car, crushing the one next to it. Iron Maiden seems completely unconcerned and waves enthusiastically to Hyperia.

Dark Horse: I don’t think that’s what they mean by parallel parking.

Iron Maiden: Bye, Hyperia! Let’s kick butt again sometime!

Hyperia: Cheerio.

Iron Maiden: What’s cereal got to do with kicking butt?

The door promptly shuts.

And the death van….battle van… roars away.

The next day, Hyperia has work and Lizbet prompty disappears, leaving Nani with a free day to herself.

She visits her mom at the hospital, where she finds her too busy with her new schedule. She does bump into two other familiar faces, however. Uriel apparently is a doctor… crazy… and Hospice works there, too.

Uriel doesn’t recognize her or doesn’t stop to say hi, where as Hospice greets her. They met when her mother started working there early in the month.

The next day, all three receive the same message from LizBOT: Hey, I’m messaging everyone else, too. You know those crazy guys you fought before? Well, I researched their weapons, and their armor and everything and found out that they’re magi. The lack of technological definition, the wooden armor that doesn’t restrict the flow of magic like metal does, it all leads to magic users! I thought you’d all want to know!

Nani replies by text: Magic? I thought that only existed in kid’s books.

For some reason, everyone is getting these texts…

Lizbet texts: Cool! Magic is awesome. Let’s learn some and spell them into the next century!

Taimi text: Uh, I think learning magic is a bit harder than you think it is.

Nani texts: I guess I should have figured magic was real when I met the goblins. You guys know any more fairy tale things we’ll have to fight?

Lizbet: Yeah I know, I was joking. You have to start when you’re twelve or whatever. I saw those magic school in England documentaries.

Hyperia: You fought goblins?

Nani: No, they were housemates of a guy we used to know.

Lizbet texts: Ok, so, who do we know that knows magic stuff?

Taimi: I don’t know anyone personally that knows magic.

Nani: I’m still reminding myself that magic is real.

A few days pass, as everyone’s busy lives kick in. Taimi goes back to school, Nani learns stuff she missed out on, Hyperia does her usual thang, and Iron Maiden breaks the city and generally makes herself a menace…

Then, out of the blue, Taimi’s phone rings, with Torturess’ phone ID on the other side.

Taimi waits a moment, as she’s not sure if she should answer or not.

But eventually, she does, “H-hello?”

Torturess: Hey Sapphy, long time no jab. I’d ask how you’ve been, but I already know so let’s cut down to business.

Torturess: Oh yeah, G says hi. And you’re not allowed to quit the business. Defecting is okay though.

She pauses and sounds like she’s barking orders at someone on her side.

Torturess: The dental plan over here is great, so if you ever get bored, I highly recommend it. They even give you thirty chiro visits a year. That’s unheard of… but I’m totally off point.

Taimi: So… what was the point of calling me?

Torturess: Besides listening to your sweet voice? We need to meet. This isn’t optional. Bring little miss cuddles with robots and the horse girl, and even that blond who came to your aid a few nights ago, if you can. Then meet me tomorrow night at Dock 7 on the South BC docks.

Taimi: Great, so I’m being stalked now? Fantastic…

Torturess: Ahh, don’t feel too flattered. G has all the tech crazy Doc-melts-in-time left behind now.

Torturess: Which includes those cool little invisble flying robot thingies.

Torturess: Though technically…yes…you are being stalked. So…uh…yeah.

Taimi audibly sighs. “Dock 7 you said? Any particular time, or do you guys have nothing better to do than hang around until we show up whenever we feel like it?”

Torturess: That means you agree to come. I love when “This isn’t optional” works. But it doesn’t matter. I’ll know when you are heading there, but make it after sundown so I can move around freely.

Torturess: I’m supposing you want to know why I want you to come though? I know it’s easy to look over that fact, when you want to see me so badly.

Taimi: The thought did cross my mind.

Torturess: We’re not big fans of the magic types here in BC, and require special permits for any magic-inclined villains. That being said, we like former associates of Dr. What? even less. That being said, we also know it takes you and you’re pals a few weeks to figure out who the heck the bad guy is. So we’re condensing everything into one meeting.

Taimi: So, we get pointed in the direction you want us to look?

Torturess: Yes, but I also looooove when you owe me. It makes me all warm and squishy inside.

Torturess: So… bring anyone you can muster. Hyperia, umm… who else do you guys know? That hotty with the healing touch. Uh, those crazy elemental guys who waived their villain cards in favor of normal lives, and G won’t let me punish. Anyone you want.

Torturess: Got it?

Taimi: Show up at meeting, Dock 7, tomorrow night, whenever we feel like it, get pointed in the direction you want us to look, right.

Torturess: You got it, babe. Wear something nice for me, pre-armor power up if you can too. I miss ya.

Torturess: Toodles.

She hangs up.

Taimi tries talking into her phone without dialing, “Uh, Lizbot?”

Lizbot: Hi Taimi!

Lizbot: I totally found this cool game that you’d enjoy. It’s called Nacho wars and it’s on your phone already. Soooo coool. Play it.

Taimi: Uh, thanks, but right now I was wondering if you could set up another multiple-person text chat for me again, like you did earlier. It’s really important, so please?

Lizbot: Sure, okay. Only if you promise to play it right afterward.

Taimi sighs, “Sure…”

Lizbot: Connected!

Lizbet texts: What do you want rodent, get out of my computer! Argh!

Lizbot: So meeeeaaaaaan.

Nani: Hey, Lizbet and Lizbot!

Taimi asks Lizbot, “I’m just texting to Lizbet, Nani, and Hyperia, right?”

Hyperia: I’m alone, I don’t know about you guys.

Lizbot: And me!

Nani: Oh, hey there Hyperia. Guess we’re getting ready to fight bad guys.

Taimi: So, I don’t think you know her Hyperia, but I just got a call from Torturess.

Lizbet: Oh, cool. How is she?

Taimi: She wants to meet the four of us tomorrow night.

Lizbet: Sweet, will be there.

Taimi: Apparently, she knows you too Hyperia. And she wants you to come too.

Hyperia: Is this an incredibly fit girl with nice tits, black hair, and a lot of black leather?

Taimi: Well, pretty much.

Hyperia: Funny how I just pictured that when I saw the name.

Nani: Yeah, all that and the ability to make you think she’s your friend when she’s using you to help the bad guy.

Nani: But I guess he isn’t the worst bad guy.

Taimi: So, is everyone willing to come? I’m not sure I trust them that much anymore, but it sounded like she had something important to say.

Hyperia: Do you have any reason to think they’re in league with these magicians?

Nani: Their whole, “I know the future cause it’s my past” thing makes my head hurt. May as well see what she wants.

Taimi: She said she had information for us about them. I guess we’ll have to figure out what parts we’ll believe.

Hyperia: Oh, those guys get on my nerves. They’re always “Oh, you can’t fight fate” and all that lah-dee-dah.

Hyperia: But once you do something different from how they remember it, suddenly that’s how they always remembered it and they won’t admit anything else.

Nani: When and where are we meeting them?

Taimi: Tomorrow night, at Dock 7 on the South BC docks. Apparently, we can all head over there together, and they’d know we’re on our way and meet us there.

Taimi: So… I guess whenever we’re ready, tomorrow night.

Nani: Mom’s going to be upset about crime fighting on a school night, but I’ll go with you.

Taimi: Well, with any luck, there wont be any actual ‘fighting’ that night.

Hyperia: Well, I’m in.

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