Heroes Anonymous

Week 0 (Session 5)
Sticks are the most powerful weapon in the universe

Gord wakes up that morning with a slight case of the sniffles, but suddenly realizes that it is not that important, as there is an alien invasion in progress outside. Luckily, a few months ago when he constructed his based, he decided for the sewers. Even aliens don’t go there.

Gord goes look to see if anyone else is awake.

Everyone is awake watching the news broadcast. Aliens invading is pretty big, at least for Borderline City. Every other alien has been pretty nice up to this point.

Torturess to Gob: Yeah, did you see that laser ray? That was intense. Let’s see how many the Captain can take before it melts his moustache!

Gord notices on the tube that it’s a closeup of Captain Masochisto, fighting what appears to be a soap bubble. A big soap bubble. One that shoots lasers.

Gord: Torturess, you’ve been up against that guy before. I know he can take it, sure, but can he dish it out at all?
Torturess: Yeah, once he hits critical mass, he gets stronger and stronger until he can flick you into orbit.
Gord: Well, I guess that explains how he ever gets anything done.
Torturess: Yeah, wish I had half his powers.
Gob: Gob, gob!
Torturess: You can say that again. I think his suit is totally fried now. Whoa, I understood that…
Gord: Yeah, it happens eventually. Nothing to be ashamed of. Glad that guy sprang for the black box briefs, at least, even if he spared all expenses on the rest of his costume design.

The TV cuts to a closeup of machine guns firing and pans back as the bubble reflects all of the bullets.

Torturess: Yeah, I burned his costume when I had him locked up. I think he gets them imported in mass.
Gob: Gob, gob.
Gord: I probably would too if getting shot was a vital part of my plans.
Torturess: Hey, that’s just down the street. Wanna go topside and watch the action from a rooftop?
Gord: Hmmm… shrugs Why not?
Gord: They aren’t spraying that many lasers around.
Torturess: He also hasn’t missed even once…
TV: A tank explodes.
Torturess: Let’s go! I want to see another one blow in person!
Gord: Well, if only everyone else in this city had that kind of accuracy.
Torturess: Then the goons would win instead of being crushed like flies. Though, it’s tough to crush flies too. And I guess that’s why you can always find them near shit.
Gord: I’m not even going to guess where you’re going with that one. Come on, we’re going topside.

Week 2 (Session 4)
Recovery, Reconnaissance and Recruitment

2:00, Thursday: The Metropolitan

With Torturess stabilized by Sapphire’s emergency response, MGob (of the Medical variety) begins pulling bullets out of the leather and chain wearing sidekick.

The Gremliminator: You seemed to recognize me before…
Sapphire Zephyr: I don’t know what you’re talking about. Is she going to be alright now with your little… helper?
Grem: So saying “You!” when you first see me isn’t a sign of recognition?

Sapphire starts panicking a little, but tries to hide it, “Oh, um… I just, uh, heard about you before, that’s all.”

Grem: Uh-huh…
Sapphire: Anyway, shouldn’t you be more worried about your… um, partner?
Torturess: I’m fine…gasp Hey Gob, be careful!
Mgob: Gob, gob!
Grem: Maybe. Guess we’re both still kinda in the villain mindset… You know, “Not anything I can do to help her, so why stand around and bug the people who can?”
Sapphire: Well, thanks for the assist, but I’d prefer to get out of here before the cops get here.

Queue sirens in the background.

Torturess: You female under there … um… what was your name?
Sapphire: Yes… I’m the Sapphire Zephyr. I hope you’ll understand if I prefer not to divulge my real name.
MGob: Gob, gob! Gob claps his hands and Gob and Gob show up to carry Torturess.
Grem: Well, I disarmed a man, and you vaporized at least one. I suppose we should both get out of here, girl.
Sapphire: Hey, it’s not my fault they decided to try and kill us.
Grem: Ok, so you’re definitely a woman under there. That’s good to know, I guess. But really, we ought to be going. Ta.

The Gremliminator follows the goblins and Torturess. Sapphire also takes off, and vanishes into the night!

Torturess: I’m…ouch! Hey, be gentle! Hey, don’t touch me there! Ahhhh….
The Gremliminator: Would you rather I carried you, T?

Thursday, 3:00: Sapphire Zephyr’s lair.

Pochi: Welcome back, mistress. Your father has left you a message.
Taimi yawns: Another message? Alright, let’s hear it.
Pochi dictates: Hello daughter, I’m doing well. We’ll have to put off our meeting for a while. I can’t really talk right now, but just hang on. He stops for a moment, then continues: I will contact you later. Don’t call anyone about the matter you helped me with until we talk again. I love you. — End message. Would you like an expresso? Or are you heading directly to bed?
Taimi: I’m just going to head to sleep. I have to work tomorrow and it’s already too late to do much.
Pochi: Very well, mistress. Your bed is prepared. Sleep well.

3:00, Thursday: Gremliminator’s hideout.

Back in the Gremliminator’s hideout, the Gobs are up to no good. Apparently, a bunch of them went fishing… in the state fish reserve, which is used for the repopulation of the sea when the BC get overzealous. The Gobs go about eating their fish after reporting the loss of 2 who were caught. Neither the Gobs nor Grem seem to care though, so the incident goes without mentioning.

Melee Gob, also known as MGob: Gob, gob! (Translation: We go snooping again, gob?)
Gord: Snooping for what? I really need to go back to work. I’ll keep an ear on the bugs we planted though, see what the fallout is from last night.
Mgob: Gob, gob! (Translation: We have fun, gob! Want in on fighting next time, gob!)

The Gremliminator considers his options. He needs to return back to recover the bugs left at the GFWA headquarters, but that would unnecessarily expose him to some danger if the authorities are on their way there. However, he also cannot just send the Gobs there as that might be too messy. He decides to wait.

Week 2 (Session 3)
Gibbed Flunkies With a side of Asphalt

Wasting no time, Sapphire Zephyr arrives at the Borderline City Metropolitan, a mall of class, dignity and danger, as it is the only one that will literally eject any costumer not to conform to their strict regulations, including but not limited to a strict formal dress code. Being the prestigious facility that it is, the Metropolitan also has a fully complimented SWAT security force, including roaming armed guards with MP5s and a sniper on the roof. Sapphire decides to watch before nearing the place, sneaking into the parking structure (as much as an attack cybernetic suit can move quietly with its high powered gears), and scanning the defenses. She calmly waits for the shipment of computer parts ear-marked for capture.

At the same time, Gremliminator sends his sidekick Torturess to scout the perimeter before he exits from a manhole cover on the street adjacent to the mall. Torturess returns and reports.

Torturess: No activity yet. Sniper on the roof, three roaming guards with MP5s.
Gremliminator: Then what are we needed for? Sounds like they’re ready.
Torturess: We are talking about the guys that robbed a military warehouse.
Gremliminator: This is Borderline City. I wouldn’t be surprised if the mall’s better guarded than the military installations…
Torturess: Touché.
Gremliminator: What do you think the bad guys are likely to do?
Torturess: Boom.
Grem: We’re supposed to get to them before that, huh?
Torturess: Who cares. Let’s just wait for the fighting and whap’em.
Gremliminator: My kinda sidekick. There’s not enough of us to cover all the approaches, we need to wait for them to show themselves.
Torturess: Better yet, let the security tank.
Gremliminator: I wasn’t planning to shop here any time soon anyway.
Torturess: I can’t even get in. They have a dress code… a one drink limit… and they’re really snobby.

Torturess points to a van rolling down the road.

Torturess: Think those are our guys?
Gremliminator: Can you tell from the van whether they have military-grade weapons?
Torturess: Let me get out my binoculars out… oh wait. I left them in the other skin tight costume.
Gremliminator: Then let’s wait and see who gets out.

A security car pulls up near the van, and then they both drive to the mall.

Gremliminator: Think the security team just hired a bunch of illegal immigrants?
Torturess: Rich people do like them some illegal immigrants.
Gremliminator: Either way, it’s suspicious.
Torturess: The illegal immigrants, or the rich people?
Gremliminator: Like I said, either way.
Torturess: Huh, just got goosebumps all over.
Gremliminator: I think we need to get closer and keep an eye on these guys.
Torturess: Yeah. Um…let’s be careful. I have a bad feeling about this.
Gremliminator: Need a hug before the action?
Torturess: Sure, if I can bite.
Gremliminator: Maybe once I armor the suit.
Torturess: I won’t bite that hard. Just enough to draw blood.
Gremliminator: Maybe later, we need a different kind of action now.
Torturess: SHIT!

Torturess drops to the pavement. The Gremliminator crouches down beside her.

Week 2 (Session 2)
SPOILER: Processing Unit of Destruction!

Taimi returns after an exhausting day of work, where her robot companion, Pochi serves her cappuccinos. She receives three messages. One from her father, another from an insurance company named “Hero-IQs” and the last from Mayor Kimbo himself. She takes her father’s message. He says something about stolen tech, right before telling her to call him immediately. She then deletes the message from the insurance company, and then takes Mayor Kimbo’s message. He asks that she call him about a job that only she is qualified for. She puzzles on this, and then calls her father.

Her father’s secretary answers, only to tell him that her father has been out since morning, and she did not know where he was. However, she gives her a message that she should contact the Mayor as soon as possible. Thanking the woman, Taimi hangs up and connects with the mayor.

Mayor Kimbo tells Sapphire Zephyr about a theft at a local Military research center, where a high security risk item was removed from the center. The Mayor enlists her aide, as he says she is the only one cleared for this mission. Attributing this to her father, as she has no real military connections besides him, she accepts the job to recover the item, which is being disguised as a CPU at the local mall.

She accepts the job.

At the same time, Torturess, the sidekick of the Gremliminator arrives at his call, and the two together investigate the tech that his goblin stole from the GFWA’s “hideout”. She realizes it to be some kind of armor, an armlet to be precise, and tries it on. Finding it to be both armor and some kind of transmitter, she takes it off. They then notice a small infinity symbol on it. As the trademark of the Techfiend, this puts the GFWA on someone big’s list. The bug confirms it as they are doing the job for some unknown thirty party.

Listening to their conversation they discover that the crooks intend to hit the mall, stealing all of a new shipment of computer parts. Both Gremliminator and the Torturess decide it best to interfere this attempt, even though it seems like an awful lot of work. Torturess leaves to prepare while the Gremliminator schemes silently.

Week 2 (Session 1)
Gob gob! Sweet pickle sandwich, gob gob!

Sakurai Taimi (or first name Taimi, last name Sakurai for the confused out there) is late for her job as a waitress in the Cosplay Cafe. Deciding which of the two events, the 36-story mech she was fighting, or the 36 alarms blaring in the background of her laboratory, is real. When she realizes that she’s late, she throws on her coat and runs to work, barely remembering to turn on her robot companion, who tried to function as an alarm for her, unsuccessfully to the point of being forcibly turned off by the sleeping hero.

Across the street, Gord, the former villain Gremlin, turned hero Gremliminator receives an instant message while studying a blueprint for his demolitions job. One of his contacts alerts him of a squad named the GFWA (Gourds Full of Win) is behind a string of tech related robberies and is up to something big. Being a hero, or at least a guy who likes to mess with villain plots, but he actually didn’t like that they their first name is similar to his actual name. He finds his goblin lieutenants (Gob, Gob and Gob) and goes by way of sewers to find their lair.

Taimi finds herself really late for work. The new girl took her shift as a maid character, and her costume. This is notable, because the maid fetish guys always give the best tips, and today was her turn. She turns to a backup costume no longer in her costume rotation for low tip purposes (google Officer Jenny if you care). At least all of her defensive gear makes for accessories. She goes on with her job, not able to quite be too angry as it is her fault that she was late.

Back on Gord’s side of the city, he and his three goblin lieutenants arrive at the door of the GFWA, an unimpressive apartment on the other side of town. When he knocks, a thirty-something woman answers the door. She easily believes that he knows the “boys” and lets him in, where the Gremliminator quickly starts planting bugs. After a nice conversation with the woman, he leaves with a piece of the enemy’s tech to hopefully identify it.

On his way back, he decides to get a bite at the Cosplay Cafe. He sits at the table of a server dressed as Mitsuru from Persona 3. He doesn’t really know the game, but he definitely likes him some redhead. He orders a sweet pickle, club sandwich.

Taimi, on the other side of the cafe, waits on an annoying customer named Thomas, who badgers her so much that she almost doesn’t notice the three young men cosplaying as anime police officers, but with real guns. They enter quickly, blocking all of the exits, leaving her no choice but to fight with what she has.

Simultaneously, the annoyed Gremliminator and the panicked Taimi attack their opponents. The Gremliminator uses his stun gun, knocking the crook out in one shot. Taimi on the other hand, summons her personal defense mallet (registered trademark of all anime girls), and smashes the man demanding her necklace in the face. He crumples to the ground, stunned. She quickly finishes him off with a kick to the ribs. All of this surprises the now lone gunman, who decides the money just ain’t worth it.

Taimi fades into the woodwork as quickly as she can while the patrons attempt to recover their stolen possessions, and everyone draws in a collective breath. Moments later, the lone gunman returns, only on his back, surfed into the building by the one and only shovel maniac, the incomparable Tsundere. Resting her shovel down, she locates the other villains already unconscious. She is then joined by her Cosplay Avenging teammate, Kawaii Kitsune, who spots the Gremliminator.

Attributing the marks to him, she thanks him for the assist. Despite Thomas, the annoying patron’s best attempt, she does not believe the timid Taimi to have done anything. The two bind the three villains together and carry them out. Mitsuru (real name Jennifer) takes a break to recover, leaving Taimi with the Gremlin’s table. Neither speak about the situation, but he enjoys a nice bite of Devil’s food cake.


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